Short sketches for the new year for adults. New Year's Eve material on the topic
With fun text and minimal props. It can be sketches or fairy tales with quick change of clothes (or without costumes at all), their main feature is that they are easy to organize and arrange at any holiday, and with any composition of guests.
Collected here the best New Year tales and skits - impromptuwhose plot is connected with this wonderful holiday called New Year .
Some of them are with a large number of characters, and some are not, some are designed only for an adult company, other New Year's tales and skits can be held in a mixed company and even with children - choose which ones are more suitable for your guests (Tales written by talented authors of the Internet - thank them for that!)
1. New Year's sketch "Chukchi" based on the fable of S. Mikhalkov.
Scene transferred - watch
2. New Year's scene - impromptu "Herring under a fur coat".
This wonderful New Year's game is always fun and uplifting to everyone: participants and spectators. But this game is important to serve well, a lot depends on the host, his artistry and comments (if necessary).
Presenter: A festive table on New Year's Eve ... for many, this is the most important thing: strong drinks, flavored snacks, delicious salads ... What do you think is the most popular salad in the New Year? Herring under a fur coat? Perfectly! So let's cook it.
Gives the party a cook cap and an apron. Asks him to invite guests to certain roles. He puts 2 chairs at a distance of 2 meters. Further, the guests sit on chairs on their knees to each other, so that those sitting on one chair look at those sitting on the other chair.
1. At the base of this salad is a herring, it should be large, juicy - invite two juicy men. Herring's eyes are large and slightly bulging. I said lightly! OK!
Men sit on chairs facing each other
2. We put it on the herring, but rather we scatter the onion, cut into rings. Invite two ladies blondes, onion something white! Girls, scattered around the herring, do not be shy.
Ladies sit on men’s knees facing each other.
3. Now take the boiled potatoes, and spread on top. We invite men again. Potato, well, that you are so boiled, let's be more active!
4. Let's grease everything with a fragrant low-calorie mayonnaise. We will invite the ladies. Mayonnaise, spread, spread!
Ladies sit down again.
5. Once again, the vegetable. This time a carrot. Men are waiting for you. What a beautiful carrot we have! All smooth, long, strong! And what a beautiful leaf!
Men sit down on the same principle.
6. Mayonnaise again, ladies go! We sit down, spread ourselves!
Ladies sit down again.
7. Beets, waiting for you! Beets, you’re not red, or even burgundy, but we hope it’s delicious!
Men sit down.
8. Decorate our salad with herbs. Parsley and dill put you in the middle. You are a sprig of dill, make us a sprig! And you, parsley, make a twig.
Ladies and Gentlemen! Herring under a fur coat is ready! Bon Appetit!
Applause to all participants!
3. Instant Christmas scene: "Filming a movie!"
Raise your hands those who dream of becoming an artist who wants to act in films. Now, right here, on the spot, a film will be shot in which the main roles are assigned to you. You see these cameras, you have cards in your hands. The cards indicate your role. I will read the script, call the characters who have this role indicated on the card - welcome to the stage! The jury will choose the best artist. So: camera, motor, started!
He reads, calling one participant in the production and forcing them to "enter the image."
So, the artists received cards with the characters of our impromptu performance, which we will shoot on camera. What they need to do, they learn only on the stage and immediately have to do it.
This is a very fun outdoor game. Costumes are optional for her, it’s enough to prepare 6 cards with words and put 6 chairs in the center of the room. Each player (6 people) draws himself a card and sits on one of the chairs. Having heard the name of your character, you need to: say your words, run around six chairs and again take your place. At the words: “Happy New Year!” - everyone stands up and runs around the chairs. It turns out not a sketch, but a fun "run" with words.
Actors and words:
Holiday - “Hurray”
Santa Claus - "Have I Drunk With You Yet?"
Snegurochka - "As much as you can!"
Champagne - "SchA, as I hit in the head"
Fir-tree - "I'm All Burning"
Gifts - “I'm All Yours”
All: "Happy New Year!"
Text.
Lived - there was a little girl and dreamed: now I’ll grow up, have a big New Year’s HOLIDAY, dress up a huge Christmas tree, and a real FATHER FROST will come to me. And at that time, somewhere in the world there lived a little boy who dreamed that when he grows up, he will put on a Santa Claus costume, give gifts to everyone and meet a real Snegurochka. They grew up and met by chance, and the girl became a Snegurochka, and the boy was Santa Claus. And soon they began to dream of a New Year HOLIDAY.
Santa Claus dreamed of gathering all his friends and giving them champagne. In addition, he wanted to cry: “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Kissing Snegurochka. And then came December 31, 20 .... year. They dressed up the Christmas tree. At the HOLIDAY, the CHAMPAGNE river flowed, and the guests gave GIFTS and thought: “This is a HOLIDAY! And Santa Claus - real, and Snegurochka - beauty. And what a wonderful Christmas tree! What an excellent CHAMPAGNE! "
The best GIFT for Santa Claus and Snegurochka was that the guests shouted: “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”, “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”, “HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
Source: forum.in-ku
5. New Year's impromptu "January 1st morning"
Leading: For this, 12 people are invited. Their task is to portray with gestures and sounds what we will read. First, we distribute the roles (roles are distributed).
And now we listen to the text, portray and voice what it says.
Characters:
Dad
Mother
Mirror
Beer
Refrigerator
Box
Thunder
Rain
Alarm clock
Child
Granddad
Messenger.
Text
Daddy got out of bed hard in the morning. He went, looked into the MIRROR and said: “No, this cannot be!” Then DAD angrily called MOM and demanded to bring a BEER. MOM with a bang opened the REFRIGERATOR, took out a BEER from there and brought it to DAD. PAPA drank BEER and said: “Wow, good!” MOM ran up to PAPA, grabbed the rest of BEER from him, drank and threw out the empty bottle.
At that time, THUNDER thundered on the street and it rained. The ALARM CLOCK rang, the CHILD woke up, woke up and ran scared to MOM. The CHILD was shaking with fear. DAD invited the CHILD to look at himself in the MIRROR so that he would stop being afraid. The MIRROR reflected all the horror in the eyes of the CHILD. The ALARM WATER rang again and, waddling out of his room, screaming and wailing, the evil GRANDFATHER came out. He also wanted a BEER, but the BEER was over, so Grandfather hit hard on the REFRIGERATOR, threatened PAPE with his fist, and hugged the frightened CHILD.
The doorbell rang. This came the messenger and brought a box of BEER. GRANDFATHER hugged and kissed the messenger, quickly picked up a box of BEER and, limping, fled to his room. But DAD and MOM saw this and cheerfully ran after him. And only the MIRROR and BABY were dissatisfied, since no one offered them a hangover.
(Source: forum.vcomine.com)
6. Christmas scene in retro style "Girl and the thief."
Characters:
Author
Girl - (to make it funnier, a young man can play the role of a girl)
Fur coat of a girl - (an employee or an employee in a fur coat from a grandmother's chest, a sample of 60-70 years of the 20th century)
Thief (required in a black stocking on his head)
Policeman
Snowflakes
Santa Claus
Once a frosty winter
New Year's Eve
Lena was going to her home
In a warm fur coat.
(Girl skips, waving her handbag).
Without sadness and anxiety
There was a girl on the road.
And when she entered the courtyard
A thief ran up to the girl.
(A thief with a gun runs up)
He waved his gun
He ordered a fur coat to be thrown off.
(The thief is actively gesturing with a Nagan)
At this moment and at the same hour!
But it was not there -
Lena thief is clever in the eye
Bam! What was strength!
(The girl demonstrates several tricks).
A thief cried out in pain
Lena called 02.
(He rings on a mobile phone. A policeman appears and whistles a whistle).
The thief is now in captivity
And in bandages the whole head.
(A thief, sitting on a chair, holds his hands in front of the bars, and at this time a man in uniform bandages his head).
Snowflakes are dancing outside the window
(Snowflakes dancing with tinsel)
The thief looks at them longingly
Licking on the ice window
Bitter crying day-and-day.
(The thief sobs, rubs his eyes with his hands)
All swollen already from tears
And the drooping walks.
He will not understand that Santa Claus
He doesn’t come to jail!
(Santa Claus shows him a fig).
Lena in a fur coat, like a picture,
Attends parties
Celebrating New Year
Congratulates all the people.
(Girl dancing incendiaryly with a bottle of champagne)
Thief say so today
Finishing our rhyme
This New Year's Eve:
"STEEP - NOT GOOD!"
7. Fairy tale impromptu on New Year's Eve "The main tree in the lights"
Impromptu New Year's Theater. The host says the text, the selected actors pronounce only their words and perform any funny actions at their discretion.
Actors and remarks:
Santa Claus: "Happy New Year! Went to FIG!"
Snegurochka: "And I'm only from the frost, I'm a May rose, after all"
Ice Palace: "Are you stunned? Close the doors!"
Main Christmas tree: "And I'm so, damn it, mysterious"
Staff: "Hold on, make no mistake !!!"
Sani-Mercedes: "Oh, pour it, pump it!"
Mobile: "Master, take the pipe, the women are calling!"
Curtain: "I am silent, but I am doing my job!"
(background music sounds quietly "The Forest Raised a Christmas Tree")
Text
The curtain opens. THE MAIN FIR-WOOD froze waiting to be lit? Here appears Santa Claus in a Sleigh-MERCEDES. Grandfather Frost tears from the Sled-MERCEDESOVSKY and parked them near the MAIN TREE. And the MAIN TREE is waiting for decisive action. And at that time the SNOWMAN appears, in her hands a STAFF, a MOBILE PLAYER hangs on her neck. Santa Claus joyfully hugs the Snow Maiden, kisses the STAFF and picks up the MOBILE.
And the MAIN FIR-TREE senses the approach of a decisive moment. Santa Claus touches the STAFF of the slender branches of the MAIN FIR-TREE. From magical touches, the FIR-tree immediately sparkled with a wonderful light. Snegurochka clapped her hands, SANI MERCEDES started dancing, Santa Claus joyfully shouted, vigorously waving his STAFF, under the loud rejoicing of the MOBILE. The CURTAIN closes.
8. New Year's fairy tale - impromptu "In the winter forest"
In this, to enhance the humorous effect, it is possible for a guest who will portray Echo to give a large bag of chocolates in his hands and every time he sings "delivers" - let him go to the hall and distribute them.
Characters:
Snow
Woodpecker
Crow
Bear
Echo
Forest - everyone at the tables (extras)
Breeze
Hares - 2
Rogues - 2
Beauty
Handsome man
Horse
Bear
Text
It’s quiet in the winter FOREST. The first SNOW gently falls. Trees in the FOREST sway and creak branches. Cheerful Woodpecker beats a mighty OAK with its beak, prepares a hollow for itself. ECHO blows knock all over the FOREST. A cold WIND rushes between the trees and tickles the DECELER feathers. Woodpecker cringes from the cold. A CROW sits on the OAK branch and croaks loudly. ECHO carries croaking throughout the FOREST. A BEAR wanders sadly in the FOREST, insomnia in a BEAR. SNOW creaks under his paws. ECHO carries the creak across the FOREST.
SNOW fell asleep all the FOREST. A trembling Woodpecker protrudes its long beak from the hollow of the mighty OAK. A CROW sits on the OAK branch and croaks loudly. ECHO carries croaking throughout the FOREST. BEAR has finally fallen asleep. He curled up under the mighty OAK, sucks his paw and smiles in his sleep. TWO FUNNY HARES jump out into the clearing, run, jump, play catch-up.
Suddenly there was a noise. TWO BATTERIES jump out into the clearing with a scream and drag the tied BEAUTY. ECHO carries screams throughout the FOREST. The robbers bind BEAUTY to the mighty OAK. BEAUTY yells "Save!" Help!". ECHO screams throughout the FOREST.
At this time, YOUNG BEAUTY drove nearby on his war horse. He heard the cries of BEAUTY and galloped off to save her. The BEAUTY cried out: “Surrender, robbers!”, The war horse reared up, fiercely neighing, and attacked the robbers. ECHO carried a fierce neighing throughout the FOREST. A fight ensued, BEAUTY won. The robbers fled.
FOREST happily rustled, the RAVEN cheerfully croaked, HARES clapped their hands.
BEAUTY freed BEAUTY, knelt before her and confessed his love. He jumped with the BEAUTY on the HORSE and rushed along the FOREST to a brighter future.
9. New Year's fairy tale impromptu "Three Bears".
Characters:
Winter
Snow
Hut
Mikhailo Potapych
Nastasya Potapovna
Teddy bear
Santa Claus
Chair
Pillow
Trees
Bowl
Bushes.
Text
It was a harsh WINTER. Snow fell and fell. He fell on the TREES, on the SHUSTERS, on the HAND, standing in the forest. And in this HUSBAND sat MIKHAIL POPAPYCH, NASTASIA POPAPOVNA and a little TEDDY. MIKHAIL POTAPYCH tested the strength of the newly-renovated CHAIR: he stood on it, sat down with all his might, got up again, sat down again, he liked the CHAIR very much, he even stroked it. NASTASIA POPAPOVNA admired her reflection in a clean washed Bowl, holding it all the time in her hand or raising it above her head. A TEDDY BEAR ran around, tossed and caught a PILLOW, sometimes falling into it, either in MIKHAILO TROPYCH, then in NASTASHYA STEP, it amused him greatly, and he laughed, holding his stomach.
Everyone was so busy with their own affairs that they even forgot that there is a harsh WINTER on the street, SNOW is falling, so much so that the TREES and BUSHES bend to the ground. So, SNOW all fell and fell, soon all the TREES lay on the SHUSTERS, sprinkled with SNOW. Suddenly, the HOSPITAL shook under the weight of the SNOW that had fallen on her. MIKHAILO POTAPYCH ran out with huge eyes with his beloved CHAIR, NASTASIA POPAPOVNA put on her beloved MISKA on her head and TEDDY in her hands carried her beloved PILLOW, tossing it in her hands. And then, because of the obstruction of the TREES and BUSHES, Ded Moroz came out, he was dumbfounded by what was happening, and the bears should sleep in the winter.
And WINTER stands, it is harsher and harsher, SNOW continues to fall on everything that stands in the forest, on the blockage of TREES and BUSHES, on our BEARS, who stood up, clinging to each other, holding their favorite things: CHAIR, BOWL and PILLOW.
Then Santa Claus wondered why, nevertheless, BEARS are not sleeping? While Grandfather Frost thought, Mikhailo Potapych wiped his CHAIR and invited Grandfather Frost to sit down. Having washed her face with tears and looked at her beloved MISKA for the last time, NASTASIA POTAPOVNA handed it to Santa Claus. And TEDDY, seeing that parents are not sorry to part with their favorite things, also stroked his beloved PILLOW and laid it on the CHAIR, and DED Moroz sat on the PILLOW.
All the BEARS began to recite poems about winter in turn, Santa Claus felt sorry and decided to give the BEARS a gift, he waved his hand and the following happened ... ... As before, there was a severe WINTER, continued to fall SNOW on TREES and BUSHES, HIS BIRTH, WELL SLEEP sweetly. in her beloved CHAIR, NASTASIA POPAPOVNA hugged with her BOW, and TEDDY sucked a finger in her sleep, lying on her beloved PILLOW. And FATHER FROST walked around the GARMENT and sang a lullaby to them.
10. Impromptu "New Year's Tale".
Characters:
Snowflakes
Snow Maiden
Koschey
Stump
Oak
Baba Yaga
Hut
Santa Claus
Text
I am walking through the forest. SNOWFLAKES flutter, fall to the ground. I look, Snegurochka walks, SNOWFLAKES catches and examines. And behind her, KOSCHEY sneaks on the heels. TIRED SNOWMAN, looks - STUMP stands, covered with SNOWFLAKES.
Snegurochka shook them from HEMP and sat down. And then KOSCHEI became bolder, came closer. “Come on, she says, Snegurochka, be friends with you!” Snegurochka was angry, jumped up, clapping her hand on the HAND, and her top on the SNOWFLAKES. "Do not be this insidious KOSCHE!". And went on. KOSCHEI was so offended that he sat on PENEK, took out a knife, and began to cut out a bad word on PENEK. And SNOWFLAKES pour on him and fall. Snegurochka came into the clearing and realized that she was lost. Looks, OAK is young. Snegurochka came up to him, hugged him by the trunk and said in a plaintive voice: “He scared me with an evil KOSCHEY, we filled up the SNOWFLAKE track, I don’t know where to go now.” I decided to stay with OAK.
Then BABA-YAGA rushed over, looking, OAK, and underneath it a Snegurochka. I tore off the SNOWMAN from the OAK, put on a broom behind me and flew. The wind whistles in the ears, SNOWFLAKES behind them whirl. They flew to the Babka’s HAND, and she stands in front of the forest, and back to the BABA-YAGA. BABA-YAGA and says: "Well, the HOUSE OF HOUSE, turn to me before, and back to the forest." And the HAMMAR answered her something like that .... Oh, thanks for the tip. I said so. But then she turned around, as ordered. BABA YAGA put a SNOWMAN into it, and closed it with seven locks. Stole, then, the Snow Maiden.
You need to free the Snegurochka. Well, Santa Claus and all sympathizers, let's redeem the Snegurochka from Baba Yaga (guests redeem either for champagne or showing their talents).
See also funny poems about a school for children. The advantages of our funny scenes are that they do not need costumes, there is no need to memorize large texts (and someone who plays the role of a teacher can use the printout that can be put in a magazine), they need to be rehearsed for a short time. Moreover, these scenes are close to the students. They will be able to laugh at their mistakes by looking at themselves from the side. Humor, jokes of funny sketches for children about school are well suited for KVN. Also see School humor.
1. Scene "In the lessons of the Russian language"
Teacher: Listen to how you learned your homework. Whoever goes to answer first will receive a point higher.
Student Ivanov (reaches out and shouts): Mar Ivanna, I will be the first, put me three at once!
Teacher: Your composition about the dog, Petrov, word for word is similar to the composition of Ivanov!
Disciple Petrov: Mar Ivanna, so Ivanov and I live in the same yard, and there we have one dog for everyone!
Teacher: Sidorov, you have a wonderful composition, but why is it not finished?
Student Sidorov: And because dad was urgently called to work!
Teacher: Koshkin, admit who wrote the essay to you?
Disciple Koshkin: I don’t know. I went to bed early.
Teacher: As for you, Klevtsov, then let your grandfather come to me tomorrow!
Pupil Klevtsov: Grandfather? Maybe dad?
Teacher: No, grandfather. I want to show him what gross mistakes his son makes when he writes an essay for you.
Teacher: What kind of word is an egg, Sinichkin?
Disciple Sinichkin: Nothing.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Sinichkin: Because it is not known which one will hatch from it: a rooster or a chicken.
Teacher: Petushkov, define the kind of words: “chair”, “table”, “sock”, “stocking”.
Disciple Petushkov: “Table”, “chair” and “sock” are masculine, and “stocking” is feminine.
Teacher: Why?
Disciple Petushkov: Because only women wear stockings!
Teacher: Smirnov, go to the board, write down and sort the sentence.
Student Smirnov goes to the board.
The teacher dictates, and the student writes: "Dad went to the garage."
Teacher: Done? We are listening to you.
Student Smirnov: Dad - subject, left - predicate, in the garage - ... an excuse.
Teacher: Who, guys, can come up with a proposal with homogeneous members?
Pupil Tyulkina pulls a hand.
Teacher: Please Tyulkina.
Student Tyulkina: In the forest there were no trees, no bushes, no grass.
Teacher: Sobakin, come up with a sentence with the number "three".
Pupil Sobakin: My mother works in a knitwear factory.
Teacher: Rubashkin, go to the board, write down the sentence.
Student Rubashkin goes to the board.
The teacher dictates: The guys caught butterflies with butterfly net.
Student Rubashkin writes: Guys caught butterflies with glasses.
Teacher: Rubashkin, why are you so inattentive?
Student Rubashkin: And what?
Teacher: Where did you see bespectacled butterflies?
Teacher: Sacks, what part of the speech is the word “dryish”?
Apprentice Meshkov, getting up, is silent for a long time.
Teacher: Well, think, Meshkov, what question does this word answer?
Pupil Meshkov: What? Dryish!
Teacher: Antonyms are words that are opposite in meaning. For example, fat is thin, crying is laughing, day is night. Petushkov, now give your example.
Pupil Petushkov: The cat is a dog.
Teacher: And what about “cat - dog”?
Disciple Petushkov: Well then? They are opposite and often fight among themselves.
Teacher: Sidorov, why do you eat apples in the lesson?
Student Sidorov: It is a pity to waste time at the break!
Teacher: Stop it now! By the way, why weren't you at school yesterday?
Disciple Sidorov: My older brother got sick.
Teacher: What do you have to do with it?
Disciple Sidorov: And I rode on his bike!
Teacher: Sidorov! My patience has burst! Don’t come to school tomorrow without a father!
Disciple Sidorov: And the day after tomorrow?
Teacher: Sushkina, come up with a proposal with an appeal.
Student Sushkina: Mar Ivanna, call!
2. Scene "The correct answer"
Teacher: Petrov, how much will be: four divided by two?
Disciple: And what to share, Mikhail Ivanovich?
Teacher: Well, let's say four apples.
Disciple: And between whom?
Teacher: Well, let it be between you and Sidorov.
Disciple: Then three to me and one to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why is this?
Disciple: Because Sidorov owes me one apple.
Teacher: Does he not owe you a sink?
Disciple: No, it should not.
Teacher: Well, how much will it be if you divide four plums into two?
Disciple: Four. And all to Sidorov.
Teacher: Why four?
Student: Because I don’t like plums.
Teacher: Again wrong.
Disciple: And how much is correct?
Teacher: And now I’ll put you the right answer in the diary!
(I. Butman)
3. Scene "Our cases"
Actors: teacher and student Petrov
Teacher: Petrov, go to the board and write down a short story that I will dictate to you.
The student goes to the blackboard and prepares to write.
Teacher (dictates): “Dad and mom scolded Vova for bad behavior. Vova was guilty silent, and then he promised to reform. ”
The student writes dictation on the blackboard.
Teacher: Great! Underline in your story all nouns.
The student emphasizes the words: “father”, “mother”, “Vova”, “behavior”, “Vova”, “promise”.
Teacher: Done? Determine in which cases these nouns are. Got it
Disciple: Yes!
Teacher: Get started!
Student: “Dad and Mom.” Who! What? Parents. So, the case is genitive.
Scolded whom, why? Vova. “Vova” is the name. Hence, the nominative case.
Scolded for what? For bad behavior. It is evident that he did something. This means that “behavior” has a satisfactory case.
Vova was silent guilty. So, here, “Vova” has an accusative case.
Well, the “promise”, of course, is in the dative case, since Vova gave it!
That's all!
Teacher: Yes, the analysis turned out to be original! Carry the diary, Petrov. I wonder what mark would you suggest you put?
Disciple: Which one? Of course, five!
Teacher: So five? By the way, in what case did you name this word - “five”?
Disciple: In prepositional!
Teacher: In prepositional? Why so?
Disciple: Well, I suggested it myself!
(according to L. Kaminsky)
4. Scene "At the lessons of mathematics"
Characters: teacher and students
Teacher: Petrov, you hardly count to ten. I won’t know who you can become?
Disciple Petrov: Boxing judge, Mar Ivanna!
Teacher: Going to the task to the board ... Trushkin.
Pupil Trushkin goes to the board.
Teacher: Listen carefully to the condition of the task. Dad bought 1 kilogram of sweets, and mom bought another 2 kilograms. How many...
Disciple Trushkin heads for the door.
Teacher: Trushkin, where are you going ?!
Disciple Trushkin: I ran home, there is candy!
Teacher: Petrov, bring the diary here. I'll put in your yesterday deuce.
Disciple Petrov: I do not have it.
Teacher: And where is he?
Disciple Petrov: And I gave it to Vitka - to scare my parents!
Teacher: Vasechkin, if you have ten rubles, and you ask your brother another ten rubles, how much money will you have?
Student Vasechkin: Ten rubles.
Teacher: You just don’t know math!
Disciple Vasechkin: No, you don’t know my brother!
Teacher: Sidorov, please answer, how many will be three times seven?
Student Sidorov: Maria Ivanovna, I will answer your question only in the presence of my lawyer!
Teacher: Why, Ivanov, does your father always do the lessons for you?
Disciple Ivanov: And mother has no free time!
Teacher: Now solve the problem number 125 yourself.
Pupils get to work.
Teacher: Smirnov! Why are you writing off from Terentyev?
Disciple Smirnov: No, Mary Ivanna, he is deducting it from me, and I just check to see if he did it right!
Teacher: Guys, who is Archimedes? Answer, Scherbinina.
Pupil Shcherbinina: This is a mathematical Greek.
5. Scene "At the lessons of natural history"
Characters: teacher and students
Teacher: Who can name five wild animals?
Apprentice Petrov holds out his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Petrov.
Disciple Petrov: Tiger, tigress and ... three tiger cubs.
Teacher: What is a dense forest? Answer, Kosichkina!
Pupil Kosichkina: These are the forests in which ... it's good to take a nap.
Teacher: Simakova, please name the parts of the flower.
Student Simakova: Petals, stem, pot.
Teacher: Ivanov, please answer us, what benefits do birds and animals bring to a person?
Student Ivanov: Birds peck mosquitoes, and cats catch mice for him.
Teacher: Petrov, what book about famous travelers have you read?
Disciple Petukhov: “The Traveling Frog”
Teacher: Who will answer how the sea differs from the river? Please, Mishkin.
Disciple Mishkin: There are two banks on the river, and one on the sea.
Pupil Zaitsev holds out his hand.
Teacher: What do you want, Zaitsev? Do you want to ask something?
Disciple Zaitsev: Mar Ivanna, is it true that people came from a monkey?
Teacher: True.
Student Zaitsev: That's what I look: there are so few monkeys!
Teacher: Kozyavin, please answer, what is the life span of the mouse?
Student Kozyavin: Well, Mary Ivanna, it depends entirely on the cat.
Teacher: Goes to the board ... Sacks and tells us about the crocodile.
Student Meshkov (going to the board): The length of the crocodile from head to tail is five meters, and from tail to head - seven meters.
Teacher: Think what you say! Is it possible?
Student Meshkov: It happens! For example, from Monday to Wednesday - two days, and from Wednesday to Monday - five!
Teacher: Khomyakov, answer, why do people need a nervous system?
Disciple Khomyakov: To be nervous.
Teacher: Why are you, Sinichkin, looking at your watch every minute?
Student Sinichkin: Because I'm terribly worried that the call would not interrupt a stunningly interesting lesson.
Teacher: Guys, who will answer, where does a bird fly with a straw in its beak?
Disciple Belkov pulls his hand above all.
Teacher: Try, Protein.
Disciple of Proteins: At the cocktail bar, Mar Ivanna.
Teacher: Teplyakova, what are the last teeth that a person has?
Pupil Teplyakova: Plugin, Mary Ivanna.
Teacher: Now I will ask you a very difficult question, for the correct answer I will immediately put the five with a plus. And the question is: “Why is European time ahead of American?”
Pupil Klyushkin pulls his hand.
Teacher: Answer, Klyushkin.
Disciple Klyushkin: Because America was discovered later!
6. Scene "Folder under the arm"
Vovka: Listen, I’ll tell you a funny story. Yesterday I took a folder by mouse and went to Uncle Yura, my mother ordered.
Andrew: Ha ha ha! And it's really funny.
Vovka (surprised): What’s so funny? I have not yet begun to tell.
Andrey (laughing): A folder ... under your arm! Well invented. Yes, your folder does not fit under the arm, it’s not a cat!
Vovka: Why "my folder"? The folder is daddy. Did you forget how to laugh correctly, or what?
Andrew: (winking and banging himself on the forehead): Ah, I guessed! Grandpa - under the arm! He speaks incorrectly, but also teaches. Now it’s clear: dad’s folder is your grandfather Kolya! In general, it’s great you came up with this - it’s funny and with a riddle!
Vova (offended): What does my grandfather Kolya have to do with it? I wanted to tell you something completely different. I didn’t listen to it, but you laugh, you interfere with talking. Yes, my grandfather was dragged, put under the arm, what a storyteller was found! I'd rather go home than talk to you.
Andrei (to himself, left alone): And why was he offended? Why tell funny stories if you can’t laugh?
(I. Semerenko)
7. Scene "3 \u003d 7 and 2 \u003d 5"
Teacher: Well, Petrov? What am I to do with you?
Petrov: And what?
Teacher: All year you did not do anything, did not learn anything. What do you put in the statements, I do not know directly.
Petrov (looking grimly at the floor): I, Ivan Ivanitch, was engaged in scientific work.
Teacher: What are you? Which one?
Petrov: I decided that all of our mathematics was wrong and ... proved it!
Teacher: Well, and how, Comrade Veliky Petrov, did you achieve this?
Petrov: Ah, what can I say, Ivan Ivanovich! It’s not my fault that Pythagoras was mistaken, and this ... Archimedes!
Teacher: Archimedes?
Petrov: And he, too, After all, they said that three equals only three.
Teacher: What else?
Petrov (solemnly): This is not true! I proved that three equals seven!
Teacher: How is it?
Petrov: But look: 15 -15 \u003d 0. Is that right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: 35 - 35 \u003d 0 - also true. So 15-15 \u003d 35-35. Right?
Teacher: Right.
Petrov: We take out the common factors: 3 (5-5) \u003d 7 (5-5). Right?
Teacher: Exactly.
Petrov: Hehe! (5-5) \u003d (5-5). This is also true!
Teacher: Yes.
Petrov: Then everything is upside down: 3 \u003d 7!
Teacher: Yeah! So, Petrov, have survived.
Petrov: I did not want, Ivan Ivanovich. But against science ... you will not sin!
Teacher: I see. See: 20-20 \u003d 0. Right?
Petrov: Exactly!
Teacher: 8-8 \u003d 0 is also true. Then 20-20 \u003d 8-8. It is truth too?
Petrov: Exactly, Ivan Ivanovich, exactly.
Teacher: We take out the common factors: 5 (4-4) \u003d 2 (4-4). Right?
Petrov: That's right!
Teacher: Then everything, Petrov, I put you “2”!
Petrov: For what, Ivan Ivanovich?
Teacher: But don’t be upset, Petrov, because if we divide both sides of the equality into (4-4), then 2 \u003d 5. So did you do?
Petrov: Well, let's say.
Teacher: So I put "2", is it all the same. A?
Petrov: No, it’s all the same, Ivan Ivanovich, “5” is better.
Teacher: Perhaps it is better, Petrov, but until you prove this, you will have a deuce in a year, equal, in your opinion, to five!
Guys, help Petrov.
(Newspaper "Elementary School", "Mathematics", No. 24, 2002)
8. Scene "Schoolchild and seller"
Actors: student and shop assistant
Sales assistant: What should you tell?
Schoolboy: The years of the reign of Nicholas II?
Sales consultant: Not in the know.
Schoolboy: Well ... Pythagorean theorem?
Sales consultant: ... (shrugs)
Schoolboy: Photosynthesis?
Sales consultant: (sighing) I don’t know ...
Schoolboy: Well, what do you climb then with your “What do you suggest?” !!!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
9. Scene "Schoolchildren in the stadium"
Actors: schoolchildren and stadium informant
A group of young fans led by a leader chant loudly:
“SPA-RTAC - CHAMPI-OH!” “SPA-RTAC - CHAMPI-ON!”
Suddenly, the voice of the informant in the stadium turns on:
Voice of the informant: Attention of young fans! (young fans stop chanting)
Your history teacher is at the match!
Young fans begin to chant:
“SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!” “SPA-RTAC - ROMAN SLAVE!”
(KVN team from Ryazan)
10. Scene "Waste words, or Cool Dnieper in cool weather"
Actors: a cultured adult and a modern schoolboy Vanya Sidorov
Hello, Vanya.
- Hello.
- Well, tell me, Vanya, how are you?
“Uh, power affairs.”
- I'm sorry, what?
- Cool, I’m saying that one wick froze this. Rolls to the box. Give, says, great to drive. He sat down and scratched. And here is the teacher. And he let's show off. I opened my mitt. Yes, how to get it. Himself with a fingal. The teacher was almost off the coils, but the great one bummed. In rzhachka. Cool, huh?
- And what, was there a horse?
- What horse?
- Well, that neighing. Or I didn’t understand anything.
“Well, didn’t you understand anything?”
- Come on, let's do it all over again.
- Well, let's. So one wick ...
- Without a candle?
- No.
- And what is this wick?
- Well, the guy is one, long, rolled up to the box ...
- What did he ride on his bike?
- Yes, no, there was a bicycle at the shket.
- Which shket?
- Well, shibzdik alone. Yes, you know him, he walks here with such a snoop.
- With whom, with whom?
- Yes, not with anyone, but with what, his nose is in the form of a snob. Well, give, he says, great to drive. He sat down and scratched.
- Did he scratch anything?
“No, he drank.”
- Well, how, sawed?
- What sawed?
- Well, great?
- What?
“Well, by that very snob?”
- No, the shnobel was at the shket. And at the wick a fingal, a bzig struck him in the head, and he began to wobble. He opened his mittens, so he got into a mess.
- And why the mittens, did he crouch in the winter?
- Yes, there was no winter there, the teacher was there.
- Teacher, you want to say.
- Well, yes, with a fingal, that is, with a great, no, with coils. But the very rolling thing that was great was a hitch.
- How did you get it?
- And so, covered. Into small pieces. Do you get it now?
- Got it. I realized that you do not know the Russian language at all.
- I don’t know how!
“Do you imagine, if everyone spoke the way you did, what would happen?”
- What?
- Remember, at Gogol. “The Dnieper is wonderful in calm weather, when it freely and smoothly rushes through its forests and mountains full of water, it does not stomp or thunder. You look and don’t know whether its majestic width goes or doesn’t go” and then “A rare bird reaches the middle of the Dnieper”.
- I remember.
- Now listen to how it sounds in your bzika language: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather, when, wandering and showing off, sawing its cool waves through forests and mountains. It will not bend, it will not cover. You will hatch your own Zenkas, open your mittens and you don’t know whether he saws or not saws. A rare bird with a snobel daughters to the middle of the Dnieper. And if he daughters, he bites and drops its hooves. " Do you like?
“I like it,” he said, and ran, shouting: “Cool Dnieper in cool weather.”
(Lyon Izmailov)
11. Young man in a night club
Actors: girl, young man, mom
A girl sits at the bar. A young man approaches her.
Young man: Hello baby! Are you bored?
GIRL: Yes, there is a bit.
YOUNG MAN: Maybe come with me? I will make you an unforgettable evening!
GIRL: That sounds. But at 23-00 mom is waiting for me at home.
YOUNG MAN: Mom waiting? Give it up! Are you 10 years old? Do you go on dates with your mom? Ha!
Suddenly, a young man's hand confidently takes by the ear. Everyone sees that this is the hand of an aged woman.
YOUNG MAN: Mom? What are you doing here?
MOTHER: What are you doing here?
YOUNG MAN: Well, Mom! I…
MOTHER: I don’t want to hear! March home!
YOUNG MAN: (to the girl) Baby, I'll call you back!
MOTHER: Home!
(KVN team from Ryazan)
12. Radiologist's office
Actors: grandmother, boy, radiologist
Radiologist's office: X-ray machine, table, chair. A doctor sits at a table.
A little boy and grandmother enter the office.
GRANDMA (pointing to the boy). I rummaged through everything, there are no points anywhere. In my opinion, he swallowed them. All to his grandfather!
X-RAYOLOGIST (refers to the boy). Did you swallow grandmother's glasses?
The boy is not responding.
GRANDMOTHER. Partisan! All to his grandfather!
RADIOLOGIST. Are you silent? But now we will enlighten you right through and we will know everything.
GRANDMA (joyfully). Yeah, I got it! To have such a thing at home.
X-RAY (examines the picture). So-so-so ... You know ... he has here not only glasses, but also a wallet with money. I can’t say for sure, but somewhere around three hundred rubles.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, we don’t need someone else’s. The main thing for me is to get glasses, I can’t watch TV without them.
RADIOLOGIST. We’ll get it now.
The radiologist approaches the boy, raises his legs and shakes. Glasses and wallet fall to the floor.
GRANDMA (grabs points). Thank you very much, doctor. I don’t even know how to thank you. Let me kiss you!
X-RAY (puts the wallet in his hands). Do not. But the wallet, if possible, I will leave for myself.
GRANDMOTHER. This is not ours, not ours, we do not need someone else.
Grandmother and grandson leave the office.
X-RAYOLOGIST (loudly). Following!
(A. Givargizov)
Characters:
Dad: Serpent Gorynych
Head teacher: Baba Yaga
Math Teacher: Goblin
Geography teacher: Kikimora
Botany teacher: Witch
Class teacher: Water
Serpent Gorynych (flies into the teacher's):
... Yes, I told him a hundred times! ..
Well, what did he do again?
BEST:
Multiplied minus with sine -
Got a unit with a minus!
KIKIMORA:
Mixed up albinos
With albatrosses ...
WITCH:
Threw apricots ...
KIKIMORA:
Blowing bubbles! ..
BEST:
On a bet
Swallowed the bell!
KIKIMORA:
Yawned the whole lesson
And all infected yawning!
WATER:
But yesterday
Dragged to class
Hippo !!!
BEST:
With this nasty boy
There is no sladu!
BABA YAGA (oil):
Maybe give him poison? ..
Or throw it to the wolves?
AM -
And there is no bad student!
KIKIMORA:
Do not get excited, dear Yaga.
In our age
Such measures are outdated.
BEST:
A hundred years ago
We would him
Of course,
Ate ...
But now
We have
Not so many students
In reserve...
WATER:
I agree!
We will not resort
To extreme measures.
WITCH:
Let's try to captivate him
Good example.
Serpent Gorynych (perplexed):
Mmmm ... Less or more ...
That is - more or less! ..
And yet...
WITCH (interrupts):
A...
Understand!
Your example is not good ...
But boy
She doesn’t want to study at all!
BABA YAGA:
Oh, how much trouble with children! ..
ZMEY GORYNYCH:
Lock him in the closet - let him learn the lessons!
And if you don’t stop yawning ...
ALL GOOD:
We will turn it
Chewing gum
And we will
SLOW
Chew!
(E. Lipatova)
14. The daily routine
Characters:
Schoolboy Vova
Schoolboy Petya
PETYA:
“Do you, Vova, know what a regime is?”
BOBA:
- Of course! The mode ... The mode is where I want, I’ll go there.
PETYA:
- Wrong! Mode is the daily routine. Are you doing it
BOBA:
“Even overfulfilling.”
PETYA:
- Like this?
BOBA:
- According to the schedule, I need to walk twice a day, and I walk four!
PETYA:
- No, you do not exceed it, but violate it! Do you know what should be the daily routine?
BOBA:
- I know! Rise. Charging. Face wash. Cleaning the bed. Breakfast. School. Dinner. Stroll. Cooking lessons. Stroll.
PETYA:
- Good.
BOBA:
“And you can do it better.”
PETYA:
- How is it?
BOBA:
- Like this! Rise. Breakfast. Stroll. Lunch. Stroll. Dinner. Stroll. Tea. Stroll. Dinner. Stroll. Sleep.
PETYA:
- Oh no. In this mode, you will turn out to be a couch potato and an ignoramus.
BOBA:
- Will not work.
PETYA:
- Why?
BOBA:
- Because with grandmother we perform the entire regimen.
PETYA:
- How is it with grandmother?
BOBA:
- And so. Half I do, and half - grandmother. And together the whole regime is obtained.
PETYA:
- I do not understand!
BOBA:
- Very simple. I carry out the rise. Charging is performed by the grandmother. Washing is a grandmother. Cleaning the bed - grandmother. Breakfast is me. Walk - me. Preparation of lessons - we are with my grandmother. Walk - me. Lunch is me.
PETYA:
“And shame on you ?!” Now I understand why you are so undisciplined.
https: // site / smeshnye-scenki-dlya-detej /
15. About Pushkin
Two duelists are standing opposite each other. One of them is Pushkin.
Second: Get together!
Pushkin and his opponent are raising pistols. Suitable for barriers. The opponent of Pushkin makes a shot. Pushkin is wounded. The enemy comes to the wounded Pushkin.
Pushkin: For what?
Opponent of Pushkin: Bastard! I was left for literature in the second year because of you !!!
16. School puzzles
Actors: Schoolboy, his friend - Vovka Sidorov
SCHOOLCHILDREN (addressing confidentially to the hall, pointing with his hand to a friend standing nearby):
And Vovka Sidorov from our class is slow-witted! Riddles here I came across interesting about school affairs, and the riddles should be in rhyme. Of course, I guessed everything right away, and then Vovka decided to check for quick wits.
SCHOOLCHILDREN (to Vovka Sidorov):
Here, guess the riddle in rhyme: “Between two calls, the term is called ...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (instantly):
Turn!
SCHOOLBOY:
Well, right, the "change" is suitable, but there must be a solution to the rhyme!
VOVKA SIDOROV (offended):
Yeah, he said it’s right, and then you start ...
SCHOOLBOY:
Okay, let me guess another riddle for you, just think before you say the answer. "The sportsman told us: Everyone should go into the sports ..."
VOVKA SIDOROV (calls out):
Score!
SCHOOLBOY:
Which store? What for? Where did you see him?
VOVKA SIDOROV:
What do you mean why? You need to buy new sneakers, otherwise my sole is already lagging on the left foot. And the Sporttovary store is directly opposite the school. You also saw him a hundred times.
SCHOOLCHILDREN (towards the hall):
Well, what can you prove to him here!
SCHOOLCHILDREN (to Vovka Sidorov):
But can you guess this riddle in rhyme? “Schools are not ordinary buildings, they get in schools ...”
VOVKA SIDOROV:
On the head! Yesterday, at Lenka Petrova, I almost did not touch the bow, and she gave me a book on the head bang-bam.
SCHOOLBOY:
Listen to another riddle: “And today I got a grade again ...”
VOVKA SIDOROV (screaming):
Three, three, I got again in mathematics.
SCHOOLCHILDREN (addressing the audience in the hall):
Well, Vovka and slow-witted! Well, slow-witted! Although ... I look, his face is tricky, beautiful. Maybe he played me? Today is April 1st !!!
(Leonid Medvedev)
17. About parents
A man in a clothing store dials a number on his cell phone.
Man: Hello dear! ... Our Bear did the lessons? … Yes? And in his diary how? Good, yes?! So, did he clean the room ?! Heck! Did you eat soup ?! Nothing ... I just went to the store, and then the sale of belts!
New Year you always want to spend fun and original with different contests and scenes. We present to your attention a scene called "The case on New Year's Eve."
New Year's Eve - a case on New Year's Eve.
Cook (from the tale of A.S. Pushkin): (Looking around and looking for the way (lost)) Oh, where is the road, I won’t have time to make a cake for the new year. (turns) Somewhere here lives Little Red Riding Hood’s mother ..., the flour is over, how I forgot to buy in a village fairy supermarket.
(turns to leave and slowly backs back, bandits enter the scene)
Broker: Wait. This is a robbery - what's in the pan.
Insurance agent: What cash is - give it back.
Cook: Oh, guard, robbery!
Insurance agent: Don’t yell at your aunt, there are deaf places - no one will hear. Better say who you are, where you are going and what you have valuable.
Cook: I am a cook, I wanted to take flour from a neighbor, bake a cake - but I have nothing valuable. Who are you?
Broker: We were fired because of the crisis, we want to eat, but we don’t have work, give the aunt a pan, we will hand it over for scrap. (Baba Yaga in charge of underground buying)
Cook: I won’t give it, don’t come, otherwise I’ll give it a pan on the head!
Broker: Schuher (tries to escape, and returns, lumberjacks enter the scene)
Lumberjack1: Stand, hand over your weapon!
Insurance Agent: We are not armed.
Broker: We don’t have weapons ...
Drovsek2: Hands up.
Lumberjack3: Well, let them sit in the prison with their wolf.
Insurance agent: Do not judge us, we are just hungry, we did not find work and went on a long road.
Cook: And they wanted to take the pot, but I’m flour ...
Lumberjack1: Quietly, we chopped a lot of dry wood here, here you will transfer it to, say, pay you, but we will need to give some work.
Lumberjack2: Yes, otherwise there are enough migrant workers.
Broker: A lot to carry? And then we are not accustomed to the physical ...
Lumberjack3: The choice is either work or prison.
Insurance agent: We agree.
Lumberjack 1: Well then, let's go.
Cook: Hey, guys, who's following me? I’m afraid here alone now, and even with a fright of a passerby I can hit a pan with a pan.
Lumberjack3: Well, let me spend it?
Lumberjack1: Well, but we’ll go, for the New Year everyone needs firewood.
(leave)
(go guest workers)
Gastrabaiter1: Let's go home, here we can’t find a job
Gastrabiter2: But it’s scary to the big road - it hurts the old ladies evil.
We will not seek adventure on our own head, especially on New Year's Eve.
Scene "In the New Year, everyone is good"
Two people are participating in the scene.
FIRST: Good evening, dear friends! Now I will tell you how to properly celebrate the new year?
SECOND: Stop! Why are you, not me ?!
FIRST: Because you do not know, but I know how to make New Year's holidays perfect!
SECOND: From where! I know you! You are one of those people who do not have gifts under the tree, but a stupid cross from the tree.
FIRST: And you are one of those people who put empty boxes with bows under the Christmas tree - such as if someone had given them gifts. Santa Claus damn it!
SECOND: And you are one of those who watch all New Year's Eve of Urgant on TV.
FIRST: And you lay out tangerines everywhere in the apartment so that like everywhere the New Year smelled.
SECOND: Are you one of those who, on New Year’s greetings from the president, take pictures on the TV
FIRST: And you are one of those who shout “Yes, there to be able to open it!”, And you’ll be sure to fill it with champagne and use a cork to crack the chandelier.
SECOND: And you are one of those who buy firecrackers and fireworks for 10 thousand, and then on New Year's Eve stupidly fall asleep
FIRST: But you belong to the group of people who, in the New Year, take a taxi for vodka
SECOND: And you are one of those who always say: “Hey, pay a taxi, otherwise I don’t have a change of five thousand!”
FIRST: And you are one of those people who take a camera for the New Year, and then post pictures on the VKontakte like Lekhin_striptiz, Lech do not sleep in a salad
SECOND: Yes, yes. Just those like you on New Year's Eve do not go to bed, but sit down. And then in the morning figs you get to the toilet.
FIRST: And people like you get up on the morning of the first of January and start getting everyone: “Come on, get up, let's go up the hill!”
SECOND: And you are one of those who send the same SMS with congratulations to all friends on New Year's Eve. And after a couple of hours they receive it for their congratulations.
FIRST: And people like you come to you on the 31st, and only the 3rd leaves. Until everyone finishes, he sits at your place. Though damn it to be hinted at him.
SECOND: And you are one of those people with whom you drink, you drink, but in the end they wake up at home, and you are in a salad on an unfamiliar hut.
FIRST: And you are one of those who invite your ex to your new year and your current ex.
SECOND: And you from those who at midnight counting aloud the blows of the chimes always go astray and start clinking glasses at 11 blow.
FIRST: And you from those who in a tavern begins to stare at women from the company at the next table. And then the whole New Year’s night is to smear this comrade from the men from this company.
SECOND: And you are one of those who begins to drink antibiotics in December, and January 1 is the last day. And this poor fellow holds out until one in the morning, and then “and dick with them!” And unties himself.
FIRST: And you are one of those for whom you need champagne for the new year only to throw a piece of chocolate into it, and sit watching it float up and down.
SECOND: Okay, agree, we are both good ...
FIRST: And therefore, to celebrate the New Year by five with a plus
KHOROM: Do not do as we do! New Year's Eve - Protection for Santa Claus
New Year's Eve - funny - is suitable for elementary grades, as well as for grades 9.10 or 11. Happy New Year to you.
(two security officers leaving the microphone)
Guard 1: Vip arrived?
Guard 2: He always arrives at the last moment, busy.
Guard 1: We checked everything, nowhere did the women use the heaters and the other heaters.
Guard 2: Ours didn’t even let her in, just as she didn’t try and dressed as a snow maiden with a red cap.
Guard 1: How was it calculated?
Guard 2: And we have Vasya, he still knows fairy tales, his mother read to him in childhood, says that this is a snow maiden with a broom and a red cap in a scarf and in a web ...
Guard 1: The grandmother went nuts,
Guard 2: Well, everything seems to be all right on stage?
Guard 1: (pretending to be told to him by microphone) We all leave, they say at the entrance a woman I ha broke through.
(leave) (Baba Yaga enters the scene)
Baba Yaga: Here they decorated and decorated, and now I will tear and tear everything - I will ruin the holiday.
(Soundtrack sounds (from Counter Strike) “go go go”)
(the guards run out onto the stage and catch Baba Yaga)
(Baba Yaga resists, shouts)
Baba Yaga: I will spoil the New Year.
(she is removed from the scene)
Guard 3: Do not worry, our company guarantees a cheerful mood.
(Behind the scene, the sounds of the fight subside)
(You can add a dance)
Scene "As we looked for Santa Claus!"
HOW WE ARE KIDDY FROST SEARCHED!
comes out Snowman (lead).
S: Hello kids, greyhounds girls and boys.
Children: Hello! (In unison)
S: Do you know that today is a magical day?
Kids: Yeah!
S: Why do you know the magical?
Children: yes, today is the New Year holiday!
C: right! The day of fulfillment of all desires. But we cannot celebrate this holiday without Santa Claus!
Snow Maiden comes out.
Snow Maiden: trouble! trouble!
S: Snow Maiden, what happened?
Snow Maiden: Trouble Snowman! Grandfather of Ukraine!
S: How was it stolen? Who stole
Snow Maiden: he was stolen by the evil Baba Yaga!
Baba Yaga comes running with a broom.
B.Ya: yeah, didn’t you wait?
Snowman and the Snow Maiden: Baba Yaga!
B.Ya: Yes, it's me!
S: Give Santa Claus !!!
B.YA: Ha ha ha, I just won’t give it away! First guess the riddles.
S: Well guys, will we solve puzzles?
Children: yeah!
B.YA: Well, here is the first riddle: What is going on before winter?
Children: Autumn!
bj: That's right! Here's another riddle: Who sweeps and gets angry in winter ?? Blows howls and spins, makes a white bed? It's snowy .... (blizzard)
Children: blizzard!
B.Ya: That's right!
Snow Maiden: Well done guys!
S: and now give us back Grandfather Frost!
B.Ya: So be it ...
Coming Santa Claus
DM: Hou hou hou, hello kids girls and boys!
Children: Hello!
S: Hurray !!! Now we will celebrate the New Year!
and everyone starts having fun, dancing
New Year's sketch "I want to be a snow maiden"
-(The daughter of a woman, a yagi, cries out, goes on the stage, stops talking, starts crying again, falls silent, again cries)
- B.Ya. - Oh, oh daughter, what is it who offended the little one, who is turned into rotten toadstool, who is rubbed into tooth powder?
- D.B.Ya. - They don’t take me as a snow maiden to the School Tree, and I already say ugly anyway.
- B.Ya. “Is it not beautiful to look at yourself and the stately oh and clever clever woman.”
Yes, you wait, I have a hairdresser who is familiar. The Leshy says every girl is beautiful, you only need to emphasize this beauty. He will tint you that unnecessarily scraped will be no worse
any other fool.
- D.B.Ya. - Snow Maidens and not Little Fools. And I do not need your hairdressers. They wash their hair, cut their braids, braid fu, what muck, and they also have cologne with toilet water, and I'd rather drown in kerosene than go to such a hairdresser.
- B.Ya. - Do not calmly drive the wave. Leshii knows his work only with resin and fir cones, a little spring water and you are in good shape just like a figurine.
- D.B.Ya. - Yes, not the Figurine but Sne_gu_ro_chka. And she was already written out as a snow maiden. His granddaughter arrives with Santa Claus.
- B.Ya. - Well, you can dress up as the Snow Queen if you want me to conjure your outfit.
- D.B.Ya. - You are old, completely flew off the coils about my health; you don’t eat that you thought up the outfit of the snow queen — how many kilograms of icicles and ice are and a kokoshnik from pieces of a broken mirror is a direct threat to the safety of life.
- B.Ya. - Oh, I thought, Oh, I almost ruined it. Well, I have one more remedy.
- D.B.Ya. - What?
- B.Ya. “Are you my robber?”
- D.B.Ya. - Robber.
- B.Ya. - Thug?
- D.B.Ya. - Thug.
- B.Ya. - Breakaway?
- D.B.Ya. - Breakaway.
- B.Ya. “So you’ll be a fairy and you can do a little magic.” You conjure them a present. You know how everyone will love you.
- D.B.Ya. - Hooray Hooray I will be a fairy. Every wart I conjure will know how to offend me. Mom, lead your hands with a wave of your wand more actively. I need a fairy set: a leather jacket for curly hair and a magic wand and colors Prada.
- B.Ya. - I conjure daughter. (Option 2 now now daughter only collect ingredients) - I conjure daughter.
Chur Chur Fax Pax
Hey you two from under the bench
Removed two Malyavki
Find new things
For a little party
Two from under the bench Appear and begin to decorate the music of DB Ya. Dressing disappear
- D.B.Ya. - oh beware of my beauty you asked for it yourself.
Dynamic, modern, and most importantly - a funny New Year's scene. The beginning is: Santa Claus reads letters from children and is finally disappointed in them.
Scenario New Year's matinee for younger students. Jack Sparrow, a young hacker, Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden in one scenario. Humor guaranteed!
Scenes-dialogs for the two leading New Year's Eve. Your concert will help out, even the most motley numbers will bind together. The jokes are easy, funny, New Year's.
At the New Year holidays, anything can happen. The scene is about this: the artistic director arranges catch-up on artists performing at children's New Year's parties. Comedy club-like stage with a fair amount of childish humor.
A new and relevant scenario for the children's New Year's holiday. Recognizable modern characters: Cashier Pyaterochka, Santa Claus, Snow Maiden, Baba Yaga, and the symbol of the new year 2019 - Pig.
The classic battle of the Old and New Years is moved to the walls of a regular office. The stage is suitable for a corporate New Year's party. If your department was asked to put a sketch - take it and do not suffer.
The plot of the scene is as follows: predictor astrologers compete in the predictions of the new year for office employees. As you know, all your in-office joys and relevance can be woven into the scene. Success at the New Year corporate party is guaranteed!
Let's go back three hundred years so and imagine how Russia switched to the celebration of the new year in winter. Let's do it in the form of a fun scene. If you rent theatrical costumes, the scene will be just bombing.
Actual Christmas scene on a school theme. About how hard it is for schoolchildren and teachers on the eve of the New Year. Suitable for school or student KVN on the New Year theme.
The plot of the scene is this: somewhere in the north there is a secret base for the training of Santa Clauses. But how are they without preparation ?! You can show such a scene at KVN and at the New Year’s concert.
A humorous scene about typical mistakes at the New Year's Eve. Everyone recognizes himself more than once! Such a scene, for example, can be played by the hosts of the New Year's event, while the equilibrist is preparing to leave with Christmas balls.
Another scene for the New Year's corporate party. The plot of the scene is this: Few people know that Santa Claus has his own office, reception room and secretary. Let's say right away: everything will be within the bounds of decency, no vulgar fantasies.
New Year's fantasy: how the President of Russia and his assistant come up with a reform of the New Year holidays. As you already understood: the sketch is not for the children and not even for the school audience. Well, what, New Year and adults celebrate
Humorous scene for staging at school on New Year's Eve. Easily fits into the script of any New Year's concert. Four participants. From the props: one costume of Santa Claus.
Event organizers will not let you lie: there are not many scenes in the New Year’s concert. Here is another one. The plot is as follows: a blonde girl comes to a recruitment agency to get a job as a Snow Maiden.
Patriotic Christmas scene in the spirit of the times. Our Santa Claus tells Santa Claus about our New Year. The jokes are understandable, recognizable, and cause an instant response from the audience. The stage is easy, costumes for her are usually always available.
18+
The scene is for adults only. The two men meet some January and brag to each other who both celebrated the New Year. The miniature is suitable for performing in a club, at a closed New Year's party without children.
Scenes about school, study
By the name of the sketch, it is already clear that she is the most school-like. The plot is this: the headmaster convenes a meeting to prepare the school for the arrival of a rigorous screening.
It is always interesting to imagine how they will teach children in forty, fifty years. And if you add humor to these dreams, you get a good scene for a school concert.
We tried to imagine how officials come up with new topics for graduation essays. This scene will be organically seen in a concert on the occasion of the last bell or graduation at school. Both teachers and students can play it.
Imagine that the famous TV presenter Andrei Malakhov quit his TV shows and began to work as a literature teacher. In the sketch, we tried to show how his lesson would look.
Imagine that because of the crisis, a summit of leaders of all countries of the world was decided to be held in one of the children's health camps. The stage is also good because it is massive, but everyone does not need to learn words.
Holiday Scenes
Scene for Valentine's Day. Two cupids with a bow and arrow go out to do their job. An unusual scene where participants will need to go down to the auditorium.
The plot is this: the girls decide what to give their guys on February 23rd. Only ladies participate in the scene. Finally, a legitimate excuse to drive men into the auditorium and enjoy the scene from the heart.
The scene is redone from the existing scene for Teacher's Day.
Presenter: Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden are kind magic characters. They are loved by all the guys. Therefore, they decided that they would easily become good teachers. Real teachers decided to test Santa Claus and the Snow Maiden:
get a third grade student to give a diary.
Santa Claus: Boy, please give me a diary.
Disciple: I won’t.
Santa Claus: I will give you an interesting book.
Student: I already have a full portfolio of books.
Santa Claus: Come on a diary, otherwise I'll conjure a deuce in a magazine.
Disciple: And for what?
Presenter: Unfortunately, Santa Claus did not cope with the task.
We invite you to test the Snow Maiden.
Snegurochka: Give me a diary, but I’ll give you an ice cream.
Disciple: I have a dad director at an ice cream factory.
Snow Maiden: Give me, please, I'll just see.
Disciple: You cannot give it to the faint of heart!
Host: It’s not regrettable, but the Snow Maiden also failed in the task. And now the master class will be conducted by a real teacher.
Teacher: Well, the diary is here!
Student: I forgot at home (slides under the desk)
Teacher: Fast!
Disciple: Nope. (uncertainly)
Teacher: I’m calling my father (takes out the phone, pretends to choose in contacts)
Student: (pulls out the diary on which he was sitting) Just don’t call!
Presenter: As a simple experiment showed, fairy-tale heroes are powerless against modern schoolchildren. And only close cooperation between teachers and parents can work real miracles!
// October 25, 2012 // Views: 48 943
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